First World (Cat) Problems

According to the cats they are being kept inhumanely. I have been doing a lot of reading on cat nutrition and having lost 2 cats already to chronic renal failure, I'd like to make sure that it doesn't claim the 2 that I have now--even if they hate me for their very long lives. The main change is that I'm switching them all the way off kibble and onto canned food. Much as I appreciate the fact that Dr. Pierson feels like a raw diet of bunnies etc is the best way to feed my cats, I just can't see myself grinding up bunnies and lamb every morning to feed the cats. It doesn't seem like a very vegetarian friendly way to start my morning. MMMMM...coffee with a side of baby bunny. But I can drop the kibble and feed them canned food. Seemed easy enough. And seemed like the cats would be super happy about it. These are the cats that come running every time I pop the top off a can of tomatoes with a pull off top.

I slowly decreased their kibble until they were getting a little in the morning and some in an interactive toy. Saturday night I ran out. I briefly debated buying a small bag to continue the tiny portion in the morning, but then I thought, "Ugh, Petsmart on a Saturday? It'll be packed with people and kids. Forget it. I quit ciggies cold turkey. The cats can go cold turkey on kibble." Problem solved.

Sunday morning I opened them a can of Fancy Feast. The cats were all "YAY!!! SCORE! Unexpected canned food! nom nom nom" Lucy glanced over at the empty kibble dish but realized she better start eating the canned food before Dexter shoveled it all down. (Dexter does not play when it comes to canned food.)

Sunday night....I opened them a few more cans. Both cats expected canned food as they have been getting cans every night so no eyebrows were raised. Lucy pointed stuck her nose in the empty kibble dish but ran back to the canned food before Dexter ate it all.

Monday morning. Canned food again. Now both cats eat it but you can tell that the excitement isn't there. Personally if you fed me chocolate cake every day I'd still be all "YAY!!! CAKE!!" 2 days into it, but the cats are looking somewhat perturbed. Every time I go to the kitchen to refill my coffee, Lucy runs in and sits at her kibble dish hopefully. (I think, I need to move that thing but never do)

Monday night. Canned food again. Lucy comes to eat. Neither cat are doing the canned food dance. There isn't any excitement at all. And Lucy doesn't do her usual, "Dining room chair, I love you so I shall rub all over you until the food hits my dish" ritual. She just looks kind of pissed that it is Fancy Feast again.

Tuesday morning. The dish is empty so someone has been eating. But when I pop open the canned food no cats come running.

Tuesday night...the shit hits the fan. They have eaten their canned breakfast. Lucy has helpfully knocked the kibble dish off the table along with the electric water fountain which is dying a slow death as the pump is pumping air. (thanks, Lucy!)

Both cats give me this, "WTF??? CANNED FOOD AGAIN???" look and Lucy jumps off the table in disgust. Dexter helpfully tries to scratch it over like he would cover cat shit in his box. And then he wanders over and tries to eat some of the dog's kibble. Now the dog is pretty ill because she'd sell her soul for canned food and she's still eating kibble. (she has a humungous bag of kibble before I move her to canned food) She chases Dexter off her dish. If she can't eat his cat food, she's not sharing the kibble.

Both cats are seriously pissed. I am laughing because we've gone from "YAY!!!! CANNED FOOD!!!" to "WTF?? I HATE YOU AND THIS STINKING FANCY FEAST! FU!!" in less than a week. It brought to mind this video.

While I was chuckling about First World Cat Problems. I noticed that the cats were seriously pissed about something else. And it was yet another first world problem. Dexter has seriously forgotten his time on the streets and Lucy apparently has forgotten that once upon a time she lived in small cage that she had to share with another cat at Petsmart.

So in addition to having to eat canned food every day, they have temporarily they have lost access to my screened in patio as it is currently not completely screened as the owner just stained the whole thing and is replacing all the screens and sketchy boards. (old apartment so the 1960s carpentry is breaking down) Both of them keep going to the back door and screaming at it. I tried explaining that some cats don’t have screened in patios and tonight they are in that demographic, but they are making me bonkers. They know that its nice outside and its kind of stuffy in here because my apartment complex also took the screens off my windows as they are staining the building so I can’t open my windows more than a crack as I’m worried that one of them will fall out if I do.

Because they are making me crabby with all the bitching and screaming, I put the vacuum next to the back door. Anytime they get too vociferous, I turn it on so they run into the bedroom. I know that its kind of mean and it is probably making the guy downstairs kind of nuts but he’s kind of loud most of the time so I don’t feel THAT bad and the constant mewing is getting old. LOL

Right before I went to bed, I saw Lucy sitting by the back door glaring at the me and looking back at the patio. I went to pet her and she waited for me to pick her up, got right in my face, hissed at me and then jumped down to continue her screened patio vigil.

I feel so loved. And if they don't suffocate me in my sleep, I'm going to have to decide how long I want these ingrates to live. Perhaps kicking it a few years early might be the ticket for both of them. Then I can get nicer cats and feed them canned food all the time and let them live longer. LOL