Lucy Vs The Maintenance Guy

So as you guys may have deduced from my Cat First World Problems blog, I am having maintenance work done on my apartment building. It is kind of a drag. Looking back it has been going on for a while as it all started with the roofing project from last year. It isn't organized very well--ie you get a notice on your door saying that they are going to spray buildings with stain and to move your car as not to get overspray on it and then it never happens. When you call them to ask exactly when they plan to stain your building as it has been a week and frankly I'm worried about my car as it is in visitor parking way far away, "Oh that is for another building. We'll get to your building next week some time. We just wanted to keep you informed." Ya, that's really not helpful as frankly I parked in visitor parking near the building being sprayed as I thought it was my building that was being sprayed. /sigh

I was working from home when I heard someone outside squeal, then there was a lot of laughter and Lucy came barreling in the room eyes all wide and tail all puffy.

I went out on the patio too investigate and saw that there were people working on my patio. (surprise! I thought that they were done as the note on my door said work was completed on our building). I could see one guy on a ladder and a guy on the ground spotting him. The guy on the ground is still howling with laughter but the guy on the ladder does not look as amused.

As I'm on the patio and they can see me, I jokingly said, “What are y’all scaring my cat for?” as obviously they didn’t intend to scare her, she just isn’t used to seeing people face to face outside her 3rd floor patio. I figured it would be polite conversation and then I could go back inside.

And the guy on the floor almost pees his pants laughing again. The guy on the ladder looks at me all sheepishly and says, “Ma’am, I certainly did not scare your cat. It caught me off guard and I almost fell off the ladder it tried to attack me through the screen…(to the guy on the ground)SHUT UP!! Seriously, shut up man! You’d have been scared too. It was right in my face all teeth and claws!” Which of course makes the guy down at the bottom start howling again. I can hear him saying, “Scared of a little tiny cat? BAHAHAHAHA!”

Turns out that Lucy is not used to seeing people that are 3 stories tall and she didn’t take kindly to it. She must have been sunning herself out there when all of a sudden there was a person which just pissed her off I guess. The poor guy was climbing the ladder and his head was just about cat level when she charged him growling, snarling and hissing at him. The guy was worried that the screen wasn’t going to hold as they are working on my screen so he moved back and almost pulled the ladder off balance trying to move away from the hell cat.

Lucy is back on house arrest as I'd have felt terrible if the guy had fallen 3 stories and been maimed or killed because Lucy was protecting her turf.

And where was Dexter for all of this you ask? Under the bed hiding. LOL

About the picture. That is Lucy's usual look. In another past life she was a knife welding gansta who said, "I'll cut you" a lot. I have yet to take a picture of her where she doesn't look really pissed. If she didn't spend most of her time purring, I'd think that she hated us. (well she does still hate me and the makers of Fancy Feast right now. I don't even think that I was this cranky kicking nicotine)

First World (Cat) Problems

According to the cats they are being kept inhumanely. I have been doing a lot of reading on cat nutrition and having lost 2 cats already to chronic renal failure, I'd like to make sure that it doesn't claim the 2 that I have now--even if they hate me for their very long lives. The main change is that I'm switching them all the way off kibble and onto canned food. Much as I appreciate the fact that Dr. Pierson feels like a raw diet of bunnies etc is the best way to feed my cats, I just can't see myself grinding up bunnies and lamb every morning to feed the cats. It doesn't seem like a very vegetarian friendly way to start my morning. MMMMM...coffee with a side of baby bunny. But I can drop the kibble and feed them canned food. Seemed easy enough. And seemed like the cats would be super happy about it. These are the cats that come running every time I pop the top off a can of tomatoes with a pull off top.

I slowly decreased their kibble until they were getting a little in the morning and some in an interactive toy. Saturday night I ran out. I briefly debated buying a small bag to continue the tiny portion in the morning, but then I thought, "Ugh, Petsmart on a Saturday? It'll be packed with people and kids. Forget it. I quit ciggies cold turkey. The cats can go cold turkey on kibble." Problem solved.

Sunday morning I opened them a can of Fancy Feast. The cats were all "YAY!!! SCORE! Unexpected canned food! nom nom nom" Lucy glanced over at the empty kibble dish but realized she better start eating the canned food before Dexter shoveled it all down. (Dexter does not play when it comes to canned food.)

Sunday night....I opened them a few more cans. Both cats expected canned food as they have been getting cans every night so no eyebrows were raised. Lucy pointed stuck her nose in the empty kibble dish but ran back to the canned food before Dexter ate it all.

Monday morning. Canned food again. Now both cats eat it but you can tell that the excitement isn't there. Personally if you fed me chocolate cake every day I'd still be all "YAY!!! CAKE!!" 2 days into it, but the cats are looking somewhat perturbed. Every time I go to the kitchen to refill my coffee, Lucy runs in and sits at her kibble dish hopefully. (I think, I need to move that thing but never do)

Monday night. Canned food again. Lucy comes to eat. Neither cat are doing the canned food dance. There isn't any excitement at all. And Lucy doesn't do her usual, "Dining room chair, I love you so I shall rub all over you until the food hits my dish" ritual. She just looks kind of pissed that it is Fancy Feast again.

Tuesday morning. The dish is empty so someone has been eating. But when I pop open the canned food no cats come running.

Tuesday night...the shit hits the fan. They have eaten their canned breakfast. Lucy has helpfully knocked the kibble dish off the table along with the electric water fountain which is dying a slow death as the pump is pumping air. (thanks, Lucy!)

Both cats give me this, "WTF??? CANNED FOOD AGAIN???" look and Lucy jumps off the table in disgust. Dexter helpfully tries to scratch it over like he would cover cat shit in his box. And then he wanders over and tries to eat some of the dog's kibble. Now the dog is pretty ill because she'd sell her soul for canned food and she's still eating kibble. (she has a humungous bag of kibble before I move her to canned food) She chases Dexter off her dish. If she can't eat his cat food, she's not sharing the kibble.

Both cats are seriously pissed. I am laughing because we've gone from "YAY!!!! CANNED FOOD!!!" to "WTF?? I HATE YOU AND THIS STINKING FANCY FEAST! FU!!" in less than a week. It brought to mind this video.

While I was chuckling about First World Cat Problems. I noticed that the cats were seriously pissed about something else. And it was yet another first world problem. Dexter has seriously forgotten his time on the streets and Lucy apparently has forgotten that once upon a time she lived in small cage that she had to share with another cat at Petsmart.

So in addition to having to eat canned food every day, they have temporarily they have lost access to my screened in patio as it is currently not completely screened as the owner just stained the whole thing and is replacing all the screens and sketchy boards. (old apartment so the 1960s carpentry is breaking down) Both of them keep going to the back door and screaming at it. I tried explaining that some cats don’t have screened in patios and tonight they are in that demographic, but they are making me bonkers. They know that its nice outside and its kind of stuffy in here because my apartment complex also took the screens off my windows as they are staining the building so I can’t open my windows more than a crack as I’m worried that one of them will fall out if I do.

Because they are making me crabby with all the bitching and screaming, I put the vacuum next to the back door. Anytime they get too vociferous, I turn it on so they run into the bedroom. I know that its kind of mean and it is probably making the guy downstairs kind of nuts but he’s kind of loud most of the time so I don’t feel THAT bad and the constant mewing is getting old. LOL

Right before I went to bed, I saw Lucy sitting by the back door glaring at the me and looking back at the patio. I went to pet her and she waited for me to pick her up, got right in my face, hissed at me and then jumped down to continue her screened patio vigil.

I feel so loved. And if they don't suffocate me in my sleep, I'm going to have to decide how long I want these ingrates to live. Perhaps kicking it a few years early might be the ticket for both of them. Then I can get nicer cats and feed them canned food all the time and let them live longer. LOL